SHORTCOMINGS
I reactivated my dating profile on Tinder. That same evening I went on a date. I’m being super intentional about being in a relationship, and that looks like more online swipes, being aware of my surroundings (eye contact), sharing with people that I’m open and available, saying more yes to dates/meet-ups.
Back to Tinder Profiles...I’ve discovered that men of a certain height ie 6’0 or taller generally put their height in their profile, because they believe it’s important to us, and for me that is true as woman that’s 5’9. I noticed that this gentleman’s profile didn’t include his height, which was red flag. Red flags aren’t bad, it’s just allows me to know that there’s more information that I require.
As I dressed, I was trying to decide between my 4’ heels or my flat booties. I went for being 6’0. As I neared my location I recall thinking that I forgot to ask. I stepped out my Uber and as I suspected, he would be my Seth Green, George Clooney, or Tom Cruise [black man version]. If you don’t know, their woman are taller than they are. My first thought, was “I fucking knew it!, how could you forget? Oh well, you’re here now.” And no, the thought never crossed my mind to tell the Uber driver to take me back home.
I was there and committed to connecting. After all, it was the connection via the short [no pun intended] text and brief talk which had me say yes to begin with and distracted me from even inquiring. He was energetic, attractive, and had such a great sense of humor. There was no pink elephant in the bar, he said, “I didn’t know I was taller than you?” He acknowledge the difference and made light of it. I needed that laugh because I was feeling like an awkward black girl. Throughout the night his personality continued to shine, and it was as if he was growing taller my the minute. Since we know that’s not possible, it was me growing less concerned. I began to focus on his great biceps, salt and peppered perfectly groomed beard, and his wit. We had a good time.
There was a reason I negated to ask, I really needed to have that experience because height had been a pre-requisite for me. It was a much needed reminder that height has little to no bearing on who the person is, how they treat you, their core values etc. by opening myself up this way it will make room for more possibilities. If there’s some preconceived notions that you have, may I offer that you suspend them as you may miss out on a good person.
I’m not saying he’s the one, however he’s the one that has opened my eyes to something new and for that I’m grateful. So you may see me around town towering over a man, that’s simply because he’s lifting me up literally and figuratively. I wonder what other societal norms I’ve been holding on to that’s been blocking my blessings?
Keisha "Kiki" Orr
In all matters give thanks.
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